Brother Tom

[jaybreak]

Thanks, everyone, for your kind words and prayers.  Ed brought my attention to the forum in an email yesterday and I'm both surprised and pleased to have the support of a circle of like-minded people.  It took years to dig ourselves into this deep hole, but now that we've struck water, the dynamic has changed as there is a sense of imminent danger.  Ed in the last several days has provided me with powerful and heartfelt counsel, putting the burden on me to take the reins and lead in accordance with His designs.  This, like so much in life, is a work in progress.

Tom! Good to have you here. Hopefully you get something out of what we are doing here, and what Ed is doing with you. No reason to be shy about anything here; ask and you'll receive. We all have your back, in many different senses of the word. Just not in the literal/medical sense. 

[IainH]

Brother Tom, welcome I'm Iain and I'm the village idiot. I can occasionally seen in the pillory, feel free to chunk some rotten veggies.

[Brother Tom]

Jay, Iain--Thanks for your notes--lol.

Covenant Manhood is accumulating faster than I can integrate it into my life!  Every day it's opening my eyes to something new, or something that's been out on the edges, but  below the threshold of conscious awareness.  I haven't gone continuously, but I've seen a Christian counselor off and on for 8 years and his suggestions have assumed that the way to dealing with my troubles is to find different ways of mentally framing my experiences.  No surprise, that band-aid approach has only made things more difficult over the years.  I've tended to be a pushover in order to avoid conflict in my marriage; I'm seeing that this tactic wasn't just ineffective, but actively counterproductive.  I am praying every day for the strength to stay true to my mission and to provide the direction my family needs.

[IainH]

Jay, Iain--Thanks for your notes--lol.

Covenant Manhood is accumulating faster than I can integrate it into my life!  Every day it's opening my eyes to something new, or something that's been out on the edges, but  below the threshold of conscious awareness.  I haven't gone continuously, but I've seen a Christian counselor off and on for 8 years and his suggestions have assumed that the way to dealing with my troubles is to find different ways of mentally framing my experiences.  No surprise, that band-aid approach has only made things more difficult over the years.  I've tended to be a pushover in order to avoid conflict in my marriage; I'm seeing that this tactic wasn't just ineffective, but actively counterproductive.  I am praying every day for the strength to stay true to my mission and to provide the direction my family needs.

Seriously Dude, I know the bandaid approach well, as with other "christian" fix-its. They don't work because their foundation is the western mish mash of stuff that is alien to the true path in the capital P, Person of Christ our Redeemer. Trust Ed, he is a good man and has helped me in ways he's got no idea of but, Jesus and I know and that is enough. I've been married 25 years and if I could timey wimey back I take off running but, then I wouldn't have my two kids, who are my calling. They are in HS and they will be moving on but, my calling as their father, their covering from evil remains in place til I die. 
   Know this, we really don't know each other but, you are here and if you choose to remain you are my covenant brother and I will lift you up daily that your life brings Glory to God who reigns forever. May he guide you, bless you and keep you and your family safe from all harm, in the mighty Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

[jaybreak]

Seriously Dude, I know the bandaid approach well, as with other "christian" fix-its. 

You're right. Band aids won't work when the problem requires a nearly-complete overhaul in your thinking--they might fix a small problem here or there but shifting your view of social reality (not easy) is the end solution.

[Ed Hurst]

Just an update: Things aren't going that well for Tom and his missus. As he strives to take seriously the things we teach, it's creating tensions because she seems uninterested in adapting to the new Tom. Keep in him your prayers as often as the Lord calls him to mind.

[IainH]

Just an update: Things aren't going that well for Tom and his missus. As he strives to take seriously the things we teach, it's creating tensions because she seems uninterested in adapting to the new Tom. Keep in him your prayers as often as the Lord calls him to mind.

 
Will do, I'm familiar with having a woman who don't get it. She's just comfortable in the religion and lifestyle she was raised with, conservative southern Baptist (she often remarks that she would have been happy in the 1950's). I've moved past it and leave it be. It's the Spirit of the Living God who changes hearts so, I stand aside and don't interfere with His work. We are in general agreement on the raising of our children. Occasionally, I have to bring out the metaphorical two by four to assert my authority or point out when she's seriously wrong. We met and got married at a time in my life when I believed in western civilization and western christianity. I was trying very had to fit into the button down mold and Michelle was the right choice for such a person. Now to Brother Tom, I say even though our situations may be very different, I do know how it is to be a man for whom God has chosen to reveal to and guide on the heart led path, while being married to a spouse who ain't. I'll pray with you, for you and you can pray for me. Together, as brothers in Christ Jesus, we will bring Him glory.