Yo tribe. This section ought to be full if we are what we say we are, shame!
That was an example of a guilt trip, one of many that my dear psychomom has in her vast armory of manipulative weapons. Weapons used to maintain her status as the center of the known universe.
At eighty and after a lifetime of having a narcissistic personality and other PD's, she is beyond help.
Even the first step is impossible because, perfect people do not make errors.
She grows increasingly ...ehm..difficult. At one time I dreamed of normality but, it was a false hope.
My prayer request is for the  Lord to grant me sufficient grace to cope with her for the time we have left.

(01-06-2018, 01:02 PM)IainH Wrote: This section ought to be full if we are what we say we are, shame!

After I read this sentence, I have to admit I was a little astonished. Good thing you meant it sarcastically. You did, right? 

Other personalities, even if they aren't "affected" the way your mother's personality sounds, can drain us daily. She is your mother but remember to create your own boundaries on what's acceptable. No one here can do that for you; that's between you and God. Show her grace, but up to a point. It does us no good to have those around us pouring toxicity on our shalom.

(01-06-2018, 06:41 PM)jaybreak Wrote:

(01-06-2018, 01:02 PM)IainH Wrote: This section ought to be full if we are what we say we are, shame!

After I read this sentence, I have to admit I was a little astonished. Good thing you meant it sarcastically. You did, right? 

Other personalities, even if they aren't "affected" the way your mother's personality sounds, can drain us daily. She is your mother but remember to create your own boundaries on what's acceptable. No one here can do that for you; that's between you and God. Show her grace, but up to a point. It does us no good to have those around us pouring toxicity on our shalom.

Most definitely tongue firmly in the cheek, my mother is Scottish and is moving back there on the 22nd of this month. She was a service bride, Dad met her when he was stationed there with the USAF in the fifties. He passed two years ago. Truly, I could write a book that would make some very disturbing reading on what went on. She has my love and forgiveness but, mainly pity. I cannot conceive of how it must be to manufacture empathy because of your complete lack of it.
All I ask for is "Lord, get me through the next two weeks, after that she's her family's problem. Please give me sufficient grace to not blow my stack'

(01-07-2018, 01:29 AM)IainH Wrote: Most definitely tongue firmly in the cheek, my mother is Scottish and is moving back there on the 22nd of this month. She was a service bride, Dad met her when he was stationed there with the USAF in the fifties. He passed two years ago. Truly, I could write a book that would make some very disturbing reading on what went on. She has my love and forgiveness but, mainly pity. I cannot conceive of how it must be to manufacture empathy because of your complete lack of it.

All I ask for is "Lord, get me through the next two weeks, after that she's her family's problem. Please give me sufficient grace to not blow my stack'

That there's a definite time limit on her presence will make it a bit easier for you, mentally. Indefinite struggle is a bit worse than one with a countdown.

Regardless, you can count on my prayerful support. If you want to, post back here after she's gone to tell us how it went.

I sure will.