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Tomorrow, June 5th would have been our 28th wedding anniversary and you should know, it's the important days and those leading up to them that are the worst. Mother's day was not good and this one is harder because, I have to work and the tsunami doesnt care where you are when it takes you. A shield of prayer would be optimal. Shoot, I'm floundering just trying to type, God bless.
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May the Lord carry you through these days, until the sorrow is overwhelmed by a vision of the purpose He has in keeping you alive.
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Thanks for the prayers. It went like I knew it would, it just happened later than I thought. I looked up at the clock at 12:05 and I was transported back 28 years and I remembered us laughing as I was trying to get that big ol wedding dress to fit in the car. We were so happy,
So, I went to the car, fell all to shit and when I was restored I hiked back into work.
God held my hand at my wife's funeral and then I didn't get anything for 101 days. It wasn't pretty, it was God damned awful and I choose my words carefully. Then, He gave me a command of one word which, I immediately understood and obeyed, after that He would give me just a little at a time because, you don't feed a bunch of food to a starving man all at once.
I find myself saying things that surprise me at their profundity. I ain't never been profound but, nonetheless it comes out of my mouth. It could be because I've been around a bit now and it's accumulated wisdom which ain't given or earned, if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen uh... it's organic.
Old fool is a saying for a reason, the reason being; there are a whole bunch of stupid old people. Most folks are pretty well locked in by 40 as far as their "worldview" is concerned. My biggest changes happened in my 50's but, it was a well walked trail getting there.
I don't particularly feel the burning need to proselytize but, I don't mind talking to other folks burnt out on organized religion. Lord knows there's plenty of them and only a scant few will be seeds planted in good soil.
I prayed for someone to follow because, I don't like to lead but, sometimes it is thrust on you. I need to find those injured people.
I will never organize a church or seek 501©3 status. It's just friends getting together and God will give the increase, if that is His will, or not. Growth should never be sought and if it gets to 100 people then split like God's miraculous cells. It is about Him and I don't seek a "crown", all I want is to hear "that Mr Iain is a good worker". "Soooo....basically you're saying that you'll die for an Attaboy? "...."Absolutely".