More Senseless Noise

[Ed Hurst]

Back when my heart wiring could tolerate caffeine, I never would go to Starbucks unless someone else paid for it. What a horrific high price they charge! They give a free cup of Joe to veterans on Veterans Day. I imbibed in that freebie a few years ago, and ordered the dark version. It was nice and strong and there was some depth to the flavor. But it still wasn't all that good, and not worth the several dollars they normally charge for it. I got far better coffee for the equivalent of a dollar in any one of the Dutch train stations back when I was stationed in the Netherlands.

Now, just about every year for the past decade or so, as the calendar approaches Christmas, a bunch of people come crawling out of the woodwork claiming that Starbucks is trying to destroy the sanctity of the holiday by removing the traditional symbols of Christmas from their cups. Instead, so they claim, the cups come out with non-religious symbols. We are supposed to believe Starbucks does this out of spite for the Christian meaning of Christmas.

I won't bother cluttering this post with all my arguments against the notion that Christmas is specifically connected to Our Savior. It just ain't.

Each year, the claims about Starbucks get more outlandish. We've been treated to variations of photoshopped pictures with Satanic symbols on their cups, which then never show up at any Starbucks shop anywhere. Oh, wait! There it is, down there on the bottom rim of the cup! That printer's mark is a Satanic symbol! This is just about on the same level as the "Jesus Frisbee" which is supposed to be mandatory for Frisbee golf if you expect to have a valid Christian witness. Frankly, I think the Starbucks' new artwork for this year is pretty nice. I like their cups, but even if I could drink their coffee, it's just not that good. That's the real issue, if you ask me. It's an insult to my Creator to come that close to making good coffee, but then miss the target and act like it's liquid gold.

[IainH]

Back when my heart wiring could tolerate caffeine, I never would go to Starbucks unless someone else paid for it. What a horrific high price they charge! They give a free cup of Joe to veterans on Veterans Day. I imbibed in that freebie a few years ago, and ordered the dark version. It was nice and strong and there was some depth to the flavor. But it still wasn't all that good, and not worth the several dollars they normally charge for it. I got far better coffee for the equivalent of a dollar in any one of the Dutch train stations back when I was stationed in the Netherlands.

Now, just about every year for the past decade or so, as the calendar approaches Christmas, a bunch of people come crawling out of the woodwork claiming that Starbucks is trying to destroy the sanctity of the holiday by removing the traditional symbols of Christmas from their cups. Instead, so they claim, the cups come out with non-religious symbols. We are supposed to believe Starbucks does this out of spite for the Christian meaning of Christmas.

I won't bother cluttering this post with all my arguments against the notion that Christmas is specifically connected to Our Savior. It just ain't.

Each year, the claims about Starbucks get more outlandish. We've been treated to variations of photoshopped pictures with Satanic symbols on their cups, which then never show up at any Starbucks shop anywhere. Oh, wait! There it is, down there on the bottom rim of the cup! That printer's mark is a Satanic symbol! This is just about on the same level as the "Jesus Frisbee" which is supposed to be mandatory for Frisbee golf if you expect to have a valid Christian witness. Frankly, I think the Starbucks' new artwork for this year is pretty nice. I like their cups, but even if I could drink their coffee, it's just not that good. That's the real issue, if you ask me. It's an insult to my Creator to come that close to making good coffee, but then miss the target and act like it's liquid gold.

I must confess as a lifelong coffee drinker, I didn't know what a good cup of coffee was until I was in my 30's having been raised on swill like Nescafe and Maxwell House, there were three drinks growing up coffee, milk or water. A soda was a big deal. I never got into all those limp wristed lattaize etc. Black, no sugar that's the way all the men I knew drank so, I did what they did. My son brings home these ice coffees and stuff with whip cream on it, I like to pick at him a little bit sometimes and say "son, you better be careful, you can catch gay from that stuff". My wife buys whatever is on sale in dark roast for the Keurig. You right about Starbucks, I tried it once and I wasn't too impressed. There is a coffee stand in Lenoir that sells a large for $3 and it's good, I suppose it's one benefit of Google moving there. The City of Lenoir and Caldwell County offered Google a sweetheart deal in return for a promise to provide 250 jobs to locals, did the jobs materialize?, hell no but, the local politicians got reelected. Which wouldn't have mattered because both town and county are overwhelming Republican. Occasionally I'll see someone who looks really out of place amongst the mass of Rednecks, Mexicans and multiple shades of people of color and I think "ah...you're in Google purgatory...which alphabet soupee did you trigger?"

[forrealone]

Amen to everything you just said!

[jaybreak]

The Starbucks cup mention reminded me of this Babylon Bee article. Heh:

https://babylonbee.com/news/starbucks-un...liday-cups

[forrealone]

The Starbucks cup mention reminded me of this Babylon Bee article. Heh:

https://babylonbee.com/news/starbucks-un...liday-cups

I guess I don't understand or am really out of touch, living in my little sanctuary.   That link - is it seriously for real or is it a joke or what?  I have too much firewood to move and birds to feed and grandkids to love on that I am at a loss for what to even say or think.  For real?

I think y'all need to get down here and lend me a hand since you sure do have time enough to look at that stuff.

No offense, but I am serious......

[jaybreak]

The Starbucks cup mention reminded me of this Babylon Bee article. Heh:

https://babylonbee.com/news/starbucks-un...liday-cups

I guess I don't understand or am really out of touch, living in my little sanctuary.   That link - is it seriously for real or is it a joke or what?  I have too much firewood to move and birds to feed and grandkids to love on that I am at a loss for what to even say or think.  For real?

I think y'all need to get down here and lend me a hand since you sure do have time enough to look at that stuff.

No offense, but I am serious......

It's a satire news site; 100% not real, like the Onion. I am not offended.

[Ed Hurst]

Speaking of time, it would take me awhile to ride my bike to your place, Linda. I'm also not offended, but I'm confronted often by people asking me to respond to wild nonsense; it's part of being an elder. I might indulge them, but then I bluntly answer how silly they are for chasing that stuff. American Christianity is loaded with so much manure, it's hard to avoid. As Jay implies from the link to Babylon Bee, we often encounter people who take satire seriously. I have relatives who still don't understand that satire is part of our cultural heritage. Little things like this is what breeds the proliferation of new brands of church.

[IainH]

The Starbucks cup mention reminded me of this Babylon Bee article. Heh:

https://babylonbee.com/news/starbucks-un...liday-cups

I guess I don't understand or am really out of touch, living in my little sanctuary.   That link - is it seriously for real or is it a joke or what?  I have too much firewood to move and birds to feed and grandkids to love on that I am at a loss for what to even say or think.  For real?

I think y'all need to get down here and lend me a hand since you sure do have time enough to look at that stuff.

No offense, but I am serious......

It's a satire news site; 100% not real, like the Onion. I am not offended.

Ahh... I love satire and the picture is funny but, it quickly becomes unfunny because, the text which follows is the same old tired, imaginary stereotypes of evil Christians. Mainstream Christians are just as ridiculous in their outrage of meaningless and irrelevant crap. Ya know what? Instead of just being a critic I'm gonna write a better version.
Stay tuned.

[IainH]

The Starbucks cup mention reminded me of this Babylon Bee article. Heh:

https://babylonbee.com/news/starbucks-un...liday-cups

I guess I don't understand or am really out of touch, living in my little sanctuary.   That link - is it seriously for real or is it a joke or what?  I have too much firewood to move and birds to feed and grandkids to love on that I am at a loss for what to even say or think.  For real?

I think y'all need to get down here and lend me a hand since you sure do have time enough to look at that stuff.

No offense, but I am serious......

It's a satire news site; 100% not real, like the Onion. I am not offended.

Ahh... I love satire and the picture is funny but, it quickly becomes unfunny because, the text which follows is the same old tired, imaginary stereotypes of evil Christians. Mainstream Christians are just as ridiculous in their outrage of meaningless and irrelevant crap. Ya know what? Instead of just being a critic I'm gonna write a better version.
Stay tuned.

Starbucks Announces New Design for Wiccans.
  Starbucks Spokesunit N.O. Gender said in a brief press release "Starbucks is proud to announce a new design for the Wiccan celebration of Yule with the ancient symbol of the horned god. This is in keeping with the Starbucks continuing commitment to diversity and inclusion" The announcement was celebrated by United Wiccans of America's Chief Witch Bromwyn Spagnum Moss who said "Yule is a great day of celebration that Pagans have held on the winter solstice for thousands of years. Even during the great persecution by Christians during of the 1980's when our feelings were hurt and some of us even cried". An Association of Christian Boycotters representative said "Starbucks has been on our boycott list for years" and declined further comment. Determined to be fair and balanced we contacted the Reverend Richard Heydrich of the Christian Identity Church for a typical Christian perspective,  he raged "the Bible says 'thou shalt not suffer a witch to live' and that goes for the...racial and gender slurs...kill 'em all". The White House denied any knowledge of the Christian Identity Church...more Trump lies. Adam Schiff has promised to investigate.

Yeah...that'll do.

[jaybreak]

The Starbucks cup mention reminded me of this Babylon Bee article. Heh:

https://babylonbee.com/news/starbucks-un...liday-cups

I guess I don't understand or am really out of touch, living in my little sanctuary.   That link - is it seriously for real or is it a joke or what?  I have too much firewood to move and birds to feed and grandkids to love on that I am at a loss for what to even say or think.  For real?

I think y'all need to get down here and lend me a hand since you sure do have time enough to look at that stuff.

No offense, but I am serious......

It's a satire news site; 100% not real, like the Onion. I am not offended.

Ahh... I love satire and the picture is funny but, it quickly becomes unfunny because, the text which follows is the same old tired, imaginary stereotypes of evil Christians. Mainstream Christians are just as ridiculous in their outrage of meaningless and irrelevant crap. Ya know what? Instead of just being a critic I'm gonna write a better version.
Stay tuned.

Starbucks Announces New Design for Wiccans.
  Starbucks Spokesunit N.O. Gender said in a brief press release "Starbucks is proud to announce a new design for the Wiccan celebration of Yule with the ancient symbol of the horned god. This is in keeping with the Starbucks continuing commitment to diversity and inclusion" The announcement was celebrated by United Wiccans of America's Chief Witch Bromwyn Spagnum Moss who said "Yule is a great day of celebration that Pagans have held on the winter solstice for thousands of years. Even during the great persecution by Christians during of the 1980's when our feelings were hurt and some of us even cried". An Association of Christian Boycotters representative said "Starbucks has been on our boycott list for years" and declined further comment. Determined to be fair and balanced we contacted the Reverend Richard Heydrich of the Christian Identity Church for a typical Christian perspective,  he raged "the Bible says 'thou shalt not suffer a witch to live' and that goes for the...racial and gender slurs...kill 'em all". The White House denied any knowledge of the Christian Identity Church...more Trump lies. Adam Schiff has promised to investigate.

Yeah...that'll do.

Hah! That last line! I'm glad we have someone like you, Iain, to tackle this stuff in this forum.

Honestly, though, Babylon Bee is more sympathetic to religious and right of center sensibilities. They make fun of caricatures created by lefties, and I think this article falls under that in a roundabout way. Or I'm just completely wrong about it all. Always possible.